Happy Memorial Day!!

 Giving honor, respect and thanks to all of those who have sacrificed and are sacrificing their lives every day! Remembering that Freedom isn’t free!!  Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13 KJV

Happy Mother's Day

My mother adopted me 44 years ago when I was 2days old. I am so glad she did. She was the most loving mother a person could have asked for and I would have chosen her for myself, had it been my choice! In 1982 my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and had her left breast removed she fought a courageous battle and seemed to be winning until 1992 when doctors told her the cancer had returned to her right breast. Again the battle was a hard one but she fought. Then in October of 1994 we learned that the cancer had metastasized to her lung there would be another battle but this time the outcome would be much different. My mother lost her battle with breast cancer on February 21, 1995 at the age of 63. I remember those days before she died asking GOD “Please don’t take her away from me, what will I do without her”. I am comforted to know that she is in a better place and no longer in pain and that someday I will be with her. It doesn’t take away the ache or the longing to pick up the phone and call her and hear her say “Hey chocolate drop”. As a teenager, I recall times I would roll my eyes at something she did or said and say “I hope I never do that”! Now every time I do or say something that reminds me of something she did or said I chuckle and remember her with a smile because now I’m proud of every piece of me that is like her.

Courage

Life continues to treat me well.

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. -Mary Anne Radmacher

God has given me some instances in my own life and journey that have revealed to me the meaning of courage. From little things like learning to advocate and share my experiences with ovarian cancer with my head held high (while inside wanting to forget it ever happened) is courage. I don't always get it right. So for those of you who know me know that I am far from perfect. I don't always do the right thing, think the right thing, say the right thing or make the right decisions. I may let my fears get my mood down in a way that makes me miss the blessings of the day. And a simple conversation I have to answer someone's questions may sink me so far into my experience emotionally that I can't get over the memories of the pain and anguish for days. But I don't have the luxury to sit at home and cry. I have to face those emotions and my fears (recurrence), regroup, get up, and get to work. I also have to remember that my experience with cancer was not only to build my resilience and my reliance and trust in God, but also to be able to understand the suffering of others in whatever forms it comes, to be able to relate more to the people I encounter during my life, to understand their pain and their suffering. (That one has taken me four years to realize) And hey even if I don't get it right, I get to try again. Now that's courage to me.

No longer "The Silent Killer”

Ovarian cancer can no longer be called "The Silent Killer." Symptoms are often subtle, but they are not silent. Women with ovarian cancer DO have symptoms, even in the early stages.
Early symptoms of ovarian cancer often include abdominal bloating, pelvic or abdominal pain, trouble eating or feeling full quickly, and feeling the need to urinate urgently or often. Other symptoms of ovarian cancer can include fatigue, upset stomach or heartburn, back pain, pain during sex, and constipation or menstrual changes. As you can imagine, these symptoms can be caused by a variety of benign conditions, which is why ovarian cancer is often misdiagnosed in its early stages. After all, most women experience some of these symptoms at some point in their lives! The most important thing to keep in mind is that women should see their doctors if they experience these symptoms for longer than two weeks, and if any of these symptoms are new to them. Some other things to remember are a Pap test does not detect ovarian cancer, and there is currently no vaccine.
It is important for all of us to be persistent with our doctors about our health care. Keep the lines of communication open, and be sure to mention any unusual symptoms you may be experiencing. Don’t be afraid to talk about how you are feeling. Don’t be afraid to break the silence.

Daily Meditation

The LORD has done great things for us, And we are glad. Psalm 126:3

Reflections…

As an ovarian cancer survivor it took a long time for me to tell my story. Now it’s hard to get me not to talk about it. Not everyone is comfortable sharing their story. That is all good, I can get with that, and there are still some parts of my cancer experience that are too personal to share. Every survivor has a story. Just like being pregnant everyone's cancer experience is different, meds treat people differently, side effects are different, psychological and physical effects are different. Cancer can consume you if you let it, taking over your every thought and everything around you. I know the hold this disease can have over you, your friends, and your family. Some days I would feel like I could crawl inside myself and hide, like no one else in the world could possibly feel like I did. Some days I would go into work and try to hide being upset and think that my co workers would think "oh there goes cancer girl", upset over… (fill in the blank.) It’s said that a positive mental attitude can go a long way. And I agree. Get cancer, your life changes drastically. Values change. Friends change. Thoughts change. Long term plans change. The resentment is unbelievable – once you’ve had cancer YOURSELF, life is totally different. It almost seems like we ought to be able to just have a holiday. Take a long break. But of course we can’t. We (like everyone else) have to work. We have to pay bills. We have to deal with everyday ups and downs, highs and lows. But it’s hard, as we feel like our lives are short and WHY should we have to bother with these things? Meanwhile, back at the ranch I’ve found in life you always want a flawless ending. But I’ve learned the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle or end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, seizing the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s around the next corner... oh well that’s LIFE… the uncertainty of it all.


T.E.A.L
Take Early Action and Live

On this my "cancerversary"!

Never give up... never surrender… Four years now and cancer-free! Feeling great and looking forward to at least 60 more! Thanks to the many family and friends who supported me, prayed for me, and were just there for me. “Don’t pray it were easier, pray you were better. Don’t pray for fewer problems, pray for more skills. Don’t pray for fewer challenges, pray for more wisdom.”

Kim E.

In Memoriam Dorothy Smith Simmons

I know I haven't posted in awhile but life continues to treat me well. Today I am wearing pink in honor of my wonderful/beautiful mother who lost a very courageous battle with breast cancer 15 years ago. Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 KJV  Thank you Mommie for all you did, Peace In Rest (PIR).