Reflections…

As an ovarian cancer survivor it took a long time for me to tell my story. Now it’s hard to get me not to talk about it. Not everyone is comfortable sharing their story. That is all good, I can get with that, and there are still some parts of my cancer experience that are too personal to share. Every survivor has a story. Just like being pregnant everyone's cancer experience is different, meds treat people differently, side effects are different, psychological and physical effects are different. Cancer can consume you if you let it, taking over your every thought and everything around you. I know the hold this disease can have over you, your friends, and your family. Some days I would feel like I could crawl inside myself and hide, like no one else in the world could possibly feel like I did. Some days I would go into work and try to hide being upset and think that my co workers would think "oh there goes cancer girl", upset over… (fill in the blank.) It’s said that a positive mental attitude can go a long way. And I agree. Get cancer, your life changes drastically. Values change. Friends change. Thoughts change. Long term plans change. The resentment is unbelievable – once you’ve had cancer YOURSELF, life is totally different. It almost seems like we ought to be able to just have a holiday. Take a long break. But of course we can’t. We (like everyone else) have to work. We have to pay bills. We have to deal with everyday ups and downs, highs and lows. But it’s hard, as we feel like our lives are short and WHY should we have to bother with these things? Meanwhile, back at the ranch I’ve found in life you always want a flawless ending. But I’ve learned the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle or end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, seizing the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s around the next corner... oh well that’s LIFE… the uncertainty of it all.


T.E.A.L
Take Early Action and Live