Happy Birthday to Me!!

I always think of birthdays as personal holidays, and I always take a vacation day from work - that's one of my birthday gifts to myself. Since my parents have both passed I am usually the one who celebrates my birthday telling every and anyone who will listen that “It’s my birthday!” and having cake or cupcakes. 
So HELL yeah I’m celebrating! I am another year older, wiser, and more grateful. So…today I’m going to be around people who matter to me, have some cake, maybe treat myself to a massage and a new pair of shoes or two or three who knows (tee hee hee)...It’s my birthday! It’s my birthday! 

Do I smell CAKE or Piece of Cake!!!

New To-Do List

• Sing.
• Smile at strangers.
• Keep learning.
• Notice kindness.
• Eat ice cream.
• Hope.
• Count my blessings.
• Laugh.
• Love.
• Love some more.

 

Happy Anniversary Honey!

I just wanted to let the world know what a wonderful husband I have. So….to my honey, Do you realize how much you mean to me? You always give so much of yourself unselfishly. You always care and always try to make things better. You came into my life at a time when I had given up on love and I thought all was lost. Honey, I love you exactly the way you are. You are my gift from God, and although our lives are not picture perfect, as no one’s is, I wouldn’t trade you for the world. I just want you to know I respect you greatly for the things you have accpmlished and the way you've chosen to live your life. I thank you for being the greatest man on this earth, and I thank God for giving you to me. You allow me to be me with no string attached. Your love strengthens me every day. You fill my heart with love. We have many years to look forward too. Whatever storm is upon us, we will weather it together with God and united in love. I love you, don’t ever forget that. Always know that your love for me gives me strengthen every day.

Advocacy

I was diagnosed with stage IIa ovarian cancer in March 2006. After the fog cleared and I began adjusting to my new life-- as an ovarian cancer survivor --in my opinion you are always a survivor. I began to look for ways to deal with the new me. Advocacy has given me a tool to continue fighting this disease, not only for me but for those who are fighting, those who have lost their battles and women who may be at risk.

Speaking out works - by getting involved, breast cancer survivors have increased funding for breast cancer that has led to new treatments and tests that are saving more lives than ever before. We are doing the same for ovarian cancer. As advocates for ovarian cancer we are educating women about ovarian cancer, changing public policy, and making a difference!

Through this thing called ovarian cancer I have had the opportunity to meet and become friends with some of the most courageous and impressive women on the face of this earth. Learn the risks and symptoms of ovarian cancer.

Survivor…yeah that’s me!

Dictionary.com defines survivor as a person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks. For some cancer patients the word survivor does not do justice to the power they felt fighting cancer. They want words that evoke the newfound power they attained since being diagnosed. They want words like slayer, warrior or fighter. Also some in the cancer community say survivor does not pay homage to the ones who succumbed to cancer.

I have a hard time understanding why it is a big deal for some. In my opinion I’m living after fighting this deadly beast so I am…surviving. So for me, the term survivor is more than just a catchphrase; it’s a call to action, a way to establish some sense of power in a situation where losing control can happen very quickly. So call me what you want warrior, fighter, slayer, princess, queen or bitch.

But what I am truly is…a person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks. A true SURVIVOR!

Are You at Risk?

While the presence of one or more risk factors may increase a woman's chance of getting ovarian cancer, it does not necessarily mean she will get the disease. A woman with one or more risk factors should be extra vigilant in watching for early symptoms.
Risk factors include:

• Genetic predisposition
• Personal or family history of breast, ovarian or colon cancer
• Increasing age
• Undesired infertility
Facts
• All women are at risk
• Symptoms exist - they can be vague, but increase over time
• Early detection increases survival rate
• A Pap test DOES NOT detect ovarian cancer

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Recommendations

Current recommendations for management of women at high risk for ovarian cancer are summarized below:
• Women who appear to be at high risk for ovarian or breast cancer should undergo genetic counseling and, if the risk appears to be substantial, may be offered genetic testing for BRCA1 and BRCA2.
• Women who wish to preserve their reproductive capacity can undergo screening by transvaginal ultrasonography every 6 months, although the efficacy of this approach is not clearly established.
• Oral contraceptives should be recommended to young women before they embark on a planned family.
• Women who do not wish to maintain their fertility or who have completed their family may undergo prophylactic bilateral salpingooophorectomy. The risk should be clearly documented, preferably established by BRCA1 and BRCA2 testing, before oophorectomy. These women should be counseled that this operation does not offer absolute protection because peritoneal carcinomas occasionally can occur after bilateral oophorectomy.
• In women who also have a strong family history of breast cancer, annual mammography screening should be performed beginning at age 30 years.
• Women with a documented HNPCC syndrome should undergo periodic screening mammography, colonoscopy, and endometrial biopsy.

Sources
1. American Society of Clinical Oncology. Statement of the American Society of Clinical Oncology: genetic testing for cancer susceptibility. Journal of Clinical Oncology, 1996; 14: 1730-1736.
2. NIH Consensus Development Panel on Ovarian Cancer. Ovarian Cancer: Screening, treatment, and follow-up. JAMA, 1995; 273:491-497.

What a walk!! 2010 GOCA Overcome Ovarian Cancer 5k

The walk was awesome, over 700 walkers and $120,000 raised!!!

Rantings of a ovarian cancer WARRIOR!!!

I couldn't think of a nice title for this since its a rant!! Ovarian Cancer lacks the trendy factor, we don’t have a three day run/walk; we don’t have a screening tool. Ask a bunch of women what to look for with breast cancer and most will know at least a little. Ask them about ovarian cancer and the majority won’t even have heard of it, let alone know what the symptoms are. There are NO tests for ovarian cancer that are more than 50% accurate. There is no way to positively detect ovarian cancer that is why it is the deadliest gynecological cancer. By the time most women find out about it, it’s often too late. Know the symptoms! BEAT ovarian cancer

B=Bloating
E=Eating less/feeling full qiuck
A=Abdominal pain
T=Talk to you PCP, GYNE or Gyn OC

Silent no more!!!!

September is National Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month "Silent No More"!!

Ovarian cancer can no longer be called "The Silent Killer." Symptoms are often subtle, but they are not silent. Women with ovarian cancer DO have symptoms, even in the early stages.

These can include (but are not limited to):
Urinary symptoms (urgency or frequency)
Bloating
Eating less or feeling full quickly
Abdominal or pelvic pain or discomfort or heaviness
Terrible back pain
Additional symptoms may include:
Fatigue
Indigestion
Pain with intercourse
Bowel changes
Menstrual irregularities
Loss of appetite

Increasing abdominal girth

TAKE ACTION: See your doctor, preferably a Gynecologist, if these symptoms are unusual for you and occur or increase in intensity over two-six weeks. Experts suggest a combination pelvic/rectal exam, a trans-vaginal sonogram, and a CA-125 blood test. And, any woman at risk, suspected of having or diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer should consult a Gynecologic Oncologist.

EARLY DIAGNOSIS IS THE KEY.

****NOTE: Pap smears DO NOT detect Ovarian Cancer.****

Again "The Reason Why I Tell My Story”

As September (Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month) is only nine days away I have decided to retell “The Reason Why I Tell My Story”.

I share my story because I have joined the sisterhood of ovarian cancer survivors. I share my story because I like so many other women who have endured the shock of having cancer, battling cancer with the surgeries and chemotherapy treatments and the continual fear of cancer recurring have a story to tell. I share my story so that women of all ages are reminded of how important it is to always be aware of the very subtle warning signs of ovarian cancer. I share my story in the hope that you do experience unusual symptoms (bloating, pelvic, or abdominal pain, difficulty eating, feeling full quickly, and feeling a frequent or urgent need to urinate); you will seek medical attention even though you might be fearful of the results. I share my story so that we as a community can become better educated regarding the facts and correct treatments so that unnecessary risks are avoided. I share my story in the hope that these, actions offer you the opportunity of dramatically improving your chances for survival.

I share my story because after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer and enduring three twenty-one day rounds of chemotherapy (three different drugs everyday), which I completed on July 11, 2006, I am cancer-free. I share my story so you can see that the check-ups every three to six months are still nerve-wracking. I share my story because it is comforting to know that I am being followed very closely. I share my story so that you will know that throughout this experience, there were so many things in my life that helped me to remain strong and positive; support from friends, family, co-workers, doctors, nurses, and a husband who never left my side were the most significant.

I share my story so that people will know that I have gained so much. I share my story because I am excited about the new research in ovarian cancer which is leading us towards more effective screening tools and better treatment. I share my story because of the pain and sadness I have felt when I hear about sisters who have lost their battle against this disease. I share my story because I have been overcome by fear and anxiety as I await results of blood work every six months, wondering if my cancer has come back. I share my story because as horrible as this disease is, I wouldn't trade anything for this journey. (I know that sounds cliché coming from a survivor, but it is true.) I share my story because I will continue to fight this monster called ovarian cancer and share my story so maybe someone else will have a chance of an early diagnosis, which will lead to a very long remission.

The Fruit of the Spirit

LOVE
His command is that you walk in love
2 John:6
JOY
For the joy of the Lord is your strength
Nehemiah 8:10
PEACE
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts
Colossians 3:15
PATIENCE
Be patient with everyone
1 Thessalonians 5:14
KINDNESS
Be kind and compassionate to one another
Ephesians 4:32
GOODNESS
As we have opportunity, let us do good
Galatians 6:10
FAITHFULNESS
A faithful man shall abound with blessings
Proverbs 28:20
GENTLENESS
Let your gentleness be evident to all
Philippians 4:5
SELF-CONTROL
To live self-controlled, upright and godly lives
Titus 2:12
AGAINST SUCH THINGS THERE IS NO LAW
Galatians 5:22,23

RIP Ginger Ackerman

Ginger Ackerman, founding member of Georgia Ovarian Cancer Alliance, past President (2005-2006) and board member of the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance passed away July 30, 2010 after a 14 year battle with ovarian cancer. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Ginger's family and friends. Ginger was a tireless advocate and activist for ovarian cancer. She will be missed by all who knew her, but her spirit well live on in our hearts.

To perform like a "star," to steal the show….take the stage and do the dance, be the spark! Stir up the gift of God which is with you. 2 Timothy 1:6

Journey

A journey is defined as traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time; trip. For me being an ovarian cancer survivor has been nothing but a journey. You see ovarian cancer snuck into my life with illusive persistence. Now, almost four years later I am the happiest I have ever been with myself (inner and outer). Sure, I still have some really bad days. Days when I fear getting sick again and days when I feel that my friends have no burdens of their own. I know I have climbed mountains and everyday gets a bit easier. I continue to move further and further away from those horrible days four years ago. I realize how truly blessed we all are to have life. I realize how lucky I am to be in this world, to have my strong, supportive, and sometimes loving family (LOL) and so many old and new totally amazing friends. So for me this ovarian cancer has been a journey with some side “trips” and some hard fought “wars” won and lost. And I wouldn’t take anything for it!

When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby. John 11:4

Ovarian Cancer National Alliance Power is Teal Conference

I really enjoyed myself at the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance Power is Teal conference, my first one.... I'm already planning on going next year. The Doctors gave out excellent and easy to understand info on the latest breakthroughs in ovarian cancer and ovarian cancer research. I met a group of the most wonderful, knowledgeable, and inspiring women ever. Jenny Allen’s play "I got sick and then I got better" was amazing. Awareness is my passion and breaking down the myth that there are no early signs of this BEAST of a disease is my goal (patients and doctors). I stayed the extra day for advocacy day on Capitol Hill and a new friend from Georgia and I did a one two punch on our reps. (lol) I met some very inspiring, wonderful and beautiful women. I had an AWESOME time and will be at next year’s conference with bells on.

Thank You!

I want to thank You for what you have already done. I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed.

I am thanking you right now. I am thanking you because I am alive. I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties. I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles. I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better. I'm thanking you because FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me. Amen

GOCA 2010 Walk

                                    Lets do it in 2o10!!!


Join my team "Shades of Teal". Breaking the silence on the cancer that whispers!!

 http://www.gaovariancancer.org/

Meditation

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." Proverbs 31:30-31

Life is a Gift

Each moment of your life is a gift. Learn to relish it. Learn to be in it. Even during your tough times, take a moment to breathe, ground yourself and become present and in the moment. There is much more to your life experiences than you realize. Be aware of your living, the possibilities for discovery, and the appreciation of your connection with humanity.

Watch your words…

Your words, your dreams, and your thoughts have power to create conditions in your life. What you speak about, you can bring about. If you keep saying you can't stand your job, you might lose your job. If you keep saying you can't stand your body, your body can become sick. If you keep saying you can't stand your car, your car could be stolen or just stop operating. If you keep saying you're broke, guess what? You'll always be broke. If you keep saying you can't trust a man or trust a woman, you will always find someone in your life to hurt and betray you. If you keep saying you can't find a job, you will remain unemployed. If you keep saying you can't find someone to love you or believe in you, your very thought will attract more experiences to confirm your beliefs. If you keep talking about a divorce or break up in a relationship, then you might end up with it. Turn your thoughts and conversations around to be more positive and power-packed with faith, expectation, love, and action. Don't be afraid to believe that you can have what you want and deserve. Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. Watch how your circumstances and situations begin to change when you change the way you speak. The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settle for. The tongue can be your worst enemy!

Assessing

Having a disease like ovarian cancer provides an opportunity to assess one’s life. It also affords an opportunity to think about one’s relationship with God. I grew-up a Southern Baptist, but being told you have ovarian cancer put new meaning into those prayers and rituals that can sometimes become customary. Someone once asked me to explain to them how I could believe in God. As I sat thinking hey that’s not something I could or can do. If you’re looking for the logic in belief, it’s not there, but I do know that God cares for me and that He has a good place awaiting me when it’s time to go. I credit Him, my medical care givers, and my own stubbornness for my survival of disease. I truly believe that this cancer journey/war has been a blessing. I have been blessed with more friends than I realized that I had. They have provided visits, phone calls, cards, prayers, and undeniable love. My biggest supporter has been my husband of 14 years, Erik. He has been with me every step of the way from connecting up my IVs, driving me here and there, and pushing me at times when I had no will. All of this has not been without a few choice words from both of us, but no one has been privileged to have more love than I have. When I think about this four year cancer journey/war, I realize that even with the ups and downs, the surgeries, and the chemotherapy side effects, that I’ve gained many blessings out of this journey/war. This cancer journey/war is mine, no one else’s. I’ve fought it, I own it, and I’m going to keep fighting it as long as God allows me to do so.

“When I die, I will not be guilty of having left a generation of girls behind thinking that anyone can tend to their emotional health other than themselves.” Ntozake Shange [“For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When the Rainbow Is Enuff...” Writer, Playwright (1948- )]


RIP Phyllis Hyman

Life is a Gift!!

Each moment of your life is a gift. Learn to relish it. Learn to be in it. Even during your tough times, take a moment to breathe, ground yourself and become present and in the moment. There is much more to your life experiences than you realize. Be aware of your living, the possibilities for discovery, and the appreciation of your connection with humanity.  Oh and learn to eat cupcakes!!!!

Happy Memorial Day!!

 Giving honor, respect and thanks to all of those who have sacrificed and are sacrificing their lives every day! Remembering that Freedom isn’t free!!  Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13 KJV

Happy Mother's Day

My mother adopted me 44 years ago when I was 2days old. I am so glad she did. She was the most loving mother a person could have asked for and I would have chosen her for myself, had it been my choice! In 1982 my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and had her left breast removed she fought a courageous battle and seemed to be winning until 1992 when doctors told her the cancer had returned to her right breast. Again the battle was a hard one but she fought. Then in October of 1994 we learned that the cancer had metastasized to her lung there would be another battle but this time the outcome would be much different. My mother lost her battle with breast cancer on February 21, 1995 at the age of 63. I remember those days before she died asking GOD “Please don’t take her away from me, what will I do without her”. I am comforted to know that she is in a better place and no longer in pain and that someday I will be with her. It doesn’t take away the ache or the longing to pick up the phone and call her and hear her say “Hey chocolate drop”. As a teenager, I recall times I would roll my eyes at something she did or said and say “I hope I never do that”! Now every time I do or say something that reminds me of something she did or said I chuckle and remember her with a smile because now I’m proud of every piece of me that is like her.

Courage

Life continues to treat me well.

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. -Mary Anne Radmacher

God has given me some instances in my own life and journey that have revealed to me the meaning of courage. From little things like learning to advocate and share my experiences with ovarian cancer with my head held high (while inside wanting to forget it ever happened) is courage. I don't always get it right. So for those of you who know me know that I am far from perfect. I don't always do the right thing, think the right thing, say the right thing or make the right decisions. I may let my fears get my mood down in a way that makes me miss the blessings of the day. And a simple conversation I have to answer someone's questions may sink me so far into my experience emotionally that I can't get over the memories of the pain and anguish for days. But I don't have the luxury to sit at home and cry. I have to face those emotions and my fears (recurrence), regroup, get up, and get to work. I also have to remember that my experience with cancer was not only to build my resilience and my reliance and trust in God, but also to be able to understand the suffering of others in whatever forms it comes, to be able to relate more to the people I encounter during my life, to understand their pain and their suffering. (That one has taken me four years to realize) And hey even if I don't get it right, I get to try again. Now that's courage to me.

No longer "The Silent Killer”

Ovarian cancer can no longer be called "The Silent Killer." Symptoms are often subtle, but they are not silent. Women with ovarian cancer DO have symptoms, even in the early stages.
Early symptoms of ovarian cancer often include abdominal bloating, pelvic or abdominal pain, trouble eating or feeling full quickly, and feeling the need to urinate urgently or often. Other symptoms of ovarian cancer can include fatigue, upset stomach or heartburn, back pain, pain during sex, and constipation or menstrual changes. As you can imagine, these symptoms can be caused by a variety of benign conditions, which is why ovarian cancer is often misdiagnosed in its early stages. After all, most women experience some of these symptoms at some point in their lives! The most important thing to keep in mind is that women should see their doctors if they experience these symptoms for longer than two weeks, and if any of these symptoms are new to them. Some other things to remember are a Pap test does not detect ovarian cancer, and there is currently no vaccine.
It is important for all of us to be persistent with our doctors about our health care. Keep the lines of communication open, and be sure to mention any unusual symptoms you may be experiencing. Don’t be afraid to talk about how you are feeling. Don’t be afraid to break the silence.

Daily Meditation

The LORD has done great things for us, And we are glad. Psalm 126:3

Reflections…

As an ovarian cancer survivor it took a long time for me to tell my story. Now it’s hard to get me not to talk about it. Not everyone is comfortable sharing their story. That is all good, I can get with that, and there are still some parts of my cancer experience that are too personal to share. Every survivor has a story. Just like being pregnant everyone's cancer experience is different, meds treat people differently, side effects are different, psychological and physical effects are different. Cancer can consume you if you let it, taking over your every thought and everything around you. I know the hold this disease can have over you, your friends, and your family. Some days I would feel like I could crawl inside myself and hide, like no one else in the world could possibly feel like I did. Some days I would go into work and try to hide being upset and think that my co workers would think "oh there goes cancer girl", upset over… (fill in the blank.) It’s said that a positive mental attitude can go a long way. And I agree. Get cancer, your life changes drastically. Values change. Friends change. Thoughts change. Long term plans change. The resentment is unbelievable – once you’ve had cancer YOURSELF, life is totally different. It almost seems like we ought to be able to just have a holiday. Take a long break. But of course we can’t. We (like everyone else) have to work. We have to pay bills. We have to deal with everyday ups and downs, highs and lows. But it’s hard, as we feel like our lives are short and WHY should we have to bother with these things? Meanwhile, back at the ranch I’ve found in life you always want a flawless ending. But I’ve learned the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle or end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, seizing the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s around the next corner... oh well that’s LIFE… the uncertainty of it all.


T.E.A.L
Take Early Action and Live

On this my "cancerversary"!

Never give up... never surrender… Four years now and cancer-free! Feeling great and looking forward to at least 60 more! Thanks to the many family and friends who supported me, prayed for me, and were just there for me. “Don’t pray it were easier, pray you were better. Don’t pray for fewer problems, pray for more skills. Don’t pray for fewer challenges, pray for more wisdom.”

Kim E.

In Memoriam Dorothy Smith Simmons

I know I haven't posted in awhile but life continues to treat me well. Today I am wearing pink in honor of my wonderful/beautiful mother who lost a very courageous battle with breast cancer 15 years ago. Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 KJV  Thank you Mommie for all you did, Peace In Rest (PIR).