Assessing

Having a disease like ovarian cancer provides an opportunity to assess one’s life. It also affords an opportunity to think about one’s relationship with God. I grew-up a Southern Baptist, but being told you have ovarian cancer put new meaning into those prayers and rituals that can sometimes become customary. Someone once asked me to explain to them how I could believe in God. As I sat thinking hey that’s not something I could or can do. If you’re looking for the logic in belief, it’s not there, but I do know that God cares for me and that He has a good place awaiting me when it’s time to go. I credit Him, my medical care givers, and my own stubbornness for my survival of disease. I truly believe that this cancer journey/war has been a blessing. I have been blessed with more friends than I realized that I had. They have provided visits, phone calls, cards, prayers, and undeniable love. My biggest supporter has been my husband of 14 years, Erik. He has been with me every step of the way from connecting up my IVs, driving me here and there, and pushing me at times when I had no will. All of this has not been without a few choice words from both of us, but no one has been privileged to have more love than I have. When I think about this four year cancer journey/war, I realize that even with the ups and downs, the surgeries, and the chemotherapy side effects, that I’ve gained many blessings out of this journey/war. This cancer journey/war is mine, no one else’s. I’ve fought it, I own it, and I’m going to keep fighting it as long as God allows me to do so.