Disclaimer:

This is my story and my journey; these are my viewes and my opinions only! I am not, nor do I profess to be a doctor, or a theologian. Please use your own discretion when reading these posts. I didn't survive cancer to die of stress!



Sunday, March 17, 2013

It’s been seven years!


It's mind-boggling how far removed from my ovarian cancer diagnosis I am after seven years but yet how close I remain.  I still can't believe that was me, chemo bound, bald and scared out of my mind. I don't ever want to lose my connection with ovarian cancer, I hate it...but I love who I've become because of it. There are still those moments that I get that sinking feeling. Even as I write this, my mind is racing and the tears are flowing...I'm okay now, yet there was a real chance I wouldn't be.
Having a disease like ovarian cancer has provided me an opportunity to assess my life. It also affords me an opportunity to think about my relationship with God. I grew-up a Southern Baptist, but being told you have ovarian cancer put new meaning into those prayers that can sometimes become customary. Someone once asked me to explain to them how I could believe in God. As I sat thinking I was like, hey that’s not something I could do. If you’re looking for the logic in belief, it’s not there, but I do know that God cares for me and that He has a good place awaiting me when it’s time to go. I credit God, my medical care givers, and my own stubbornness for my survival of this disease.

 I truly believe that this cancer journey/war has been a blessing. My biggest blessing/supporter has been my husband of seventeen years, Erik. He has been with me every step of the way from connecting my IVs, driving me here and there, and pushing me at times when I had no will. All of this has not been without a few choice words from both of us, but no one has been privileged to have more love than I have.
 When I think about this seven year cancer journey/war, I realize that even with the ups and downs, the surgeries, and the chemotherapy side effects, that I’ve gained many blessings out of this journey/war. This cancer journey/war is mine, no one else’s. I’ve fought it, I own it, and I’m going to keep fighting it as long as God allows me to do so.

Friends I pray that whatever your journey is, that you are navigating your way through with the love and support of loved ones, enjoying and living in the moment!
 

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